Check Up: ‘ow You Doin’?

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(If you get that reference to an old commercial, then we can be friends. If you can quote from The Princess Bride, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Harry Potter [all of them], LOTR [all of them] and MIB I-III, and if you secretly love the first Terminator movie, then we can be BEST friends. If you’ve read and love Terry Pratchett books, well, you can move in.)

We are all grateful for the counseling appointments because it is a safe place to share our separate journeys with such a common subject – a place where we can all hear from each other (three introverts, in case you missed that salient point; Mark was the only extrovert). I get this picture in my head, of our counselor sitting in the center of a ring of 3 turtles who have their heads pulled completely inside their shells, but little chubby legs/claws are still extended, desperately reaching out to the others and holding on tight.

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December 9: How Wide, How Deep

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Yesterday afternoon, I had a long conversation with a woman I’ll call Belinda. Belinda used to go to our church, years ago, but moved away after the sudden death of her husband. She has three handsome sons, and has done some pretty amazing and brave things – like traveling around the world for a year, with her kids, on a personal mission trip – because of her love for Jesus and her firm beliefs. She contacted me on Facebook and asked to speak with me because she wanted to see how I was doing.

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November 26: What God Allows

IMG_1201I’ve started wondering about that deer in the woods. What was that about? (Was that something profound or something I need not try to weight down with import?) And perfect strangers have reported, to a friend, that they’ve “seen” Mark in the spiritual sense. One even mentioned red, black and white and wondered why the significance of those colors…? Well… those are his high school’s colors. And one of his favorite things is his red, white & black pom-pom winter hat.

Whoa.

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November 21: In Your MERCY!

8c5e1d_31e776158f424c1b81b5ee4abd292925-mv2My blood pressure is sky high. Nothing has gone as planned this week – NOTHING.

The neurologist refused to intervene (?? this person made the diagnosis and prescribes the medication!) and although the family doctor did actually “grow a pair” and gently and kindly intervene, our loved one had no memory of the interaction, just 30 minutes later.  And she is sad, and angry, and hurt, and so, so confused.  We promised to have her tested but they can’t do it for at least two weeks. We had no idea the cataclysm of anxiety that would result from this. My husband and I are wrecked…last night I threw a tantrum – I have never, to my knowledge, done this in my entire life – in the middle of everything because this is JUST TOO MUCH. DAMMIT. It’s TOO MUCH.

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