Wow.

Yesterday – December 16, 2015 – I got my Very First Colonoscopy.  And I learned a few things:

1. The dreaded “prep” is sort of a pain but it’s not THE WORST THING EVER.  Fortunately, the medical community has learned to add a little flavoring to the gallons of crap you have to drink. It’s like drinking cardboard-flavored water with a hint of lime.
2. We (well, maybe I should stick with “I”) eat far more than we need to.  After the Tuesday diet that consisted solely of Miso Soup (hint hint! You can consume this as long as you don’t stir up the sediment, and it’s SO much better than plain chicken broth), Lemon Ice and lots of water and the Prep stuff, I awoke Wednesday morning, the day of the procedure, feeling…fine. Honestly.  I was FINE. I even had energy.
3. When your colonoscopy is scheduled, make sure you ask for a MORNING appointment. Mine wasn’t until 2pm and I was pretty much cranky and done with the whole thing by then.
4. Whatever it is they give you to put you to sleep/into twilight sleep = truth serum as well as the best nap I ever had in my life. I told both the physician and the nurse all about Mark and how I hoped I would see him in my twilight place (I have no recollection if anything occurred).  And then I did not want to wake up. Please leave me here, comfortably curled on my side, for at least several more hours. I do not care if you want to perform multiple procedures. Just let me enjoy this incredible rest.
5. When you use up your entire deductible and then some, paying off your portion of what appears to be tens of thousands in costs related to Mark’s ER visit and surgery, you hit that Holy Grail that is also part of Hell: the Out of Pocket Maximum…and everything else is “free.”  So: Mark, thanks for the “free” colonoscopy.