A long-time friend stopped by the church in early September of last year, as Beth P and I were finishing the day at preschool. Our friend’s son, Edwin, is now a freshman at Virginia Tech, pursuing an Aerospace Engineering degree, just like Mark – his childhood friend-at-church – had been. He’d sent us a picture of himself as he packed for school, showing us all the Mark things (calculator, textbooks, spirit wear, other engineering gizmos we’d given him) he was taking along, taking “back” to VT. Oh my.
Edwin’s mom was sharing how much she misses him, as well as her frustration: he had taken his gaming system with him to college!! What was he thinking!!?!
As I’ve mentioned before, the author Tom Zuba makes a very important point in his book, “Permission to Mourn.” He says what we believe is the most powerful thing there is. What you think and say about your child’s death, about yourself, about God, about what happens after you die — those ARE your reality. Those thoughts frame not just this experience of death, but your whole life’s journey. Belief is what determines how you see what happens now and next. Beliefs can carry you into peace or away from it.
....Last things last
By the grace of the fire and the flames
You're the face of the future, the blood in my veins, oh ooh
The blood in my veins, oh ooh
But they never did, ever lived, ebbing and flowing
'Til it broke up and it rained down
It rained down, like
You made me a, you made me a believer, believer (Pain, pain)
You break me down, you built me up, believer, believer (Pain)
I let the bullets fly, oh let them rain
My life, my love, my drive, it came from (Pain)
You made me a, you made me a believer, believer
Imagine Dragons, 2017*
I recently joined a rather large – more than 1200 members – closed Facebook group for bereaved parents.