Spring is in FULL swing, tax season is over, and we’ve also managed to soldier through some very wonderful, “brutiful” events in our family. I can breathe a little again now; feel some flex in my time and days.
While I get the rust out of my blogging engine, I’m going to add – in the next several days – one, two or three things I wrote in March/April, plus some other writing I’ve done over the last couple of years: several prayers I’ve written and shared – in my role as Worship Leader – with those attending our church on various Sundays. I’ll be backdating the prayers so they “fit in,” time-line-wise, amongst other blog posts I was writing about the same time; the first and oldest will be showing up in August 2016.
You may find them too religious, or too full of Jesus, for your liking. And that’s ok.
You may also think – or maybe it’s just my own judgy, perfectionistic little self saying this – “how could she write that on Sunday and then be all doubty and weird and depressed two days later?!” But I’m learning to just let that be…me. Faith, like all of life, is a journey. I know my destination, and getting there is not easy. And: I’m in good company.
There’s a story in the Gospel of Mark (every single time, in church, when the reading was from this particular book in the bible, I’d get the elbow in the ribs. “The Gospel of whom, Mom?”), Chapter 9, about a man with a (probably epileptic) son who came desperately looking for Jesus, who he has heard can work miracles. The man eventually comes face to face with Jesus (the disciples were not able to help); after describing his son’s condition one more time, he expresses limited hope. “If you can do anything, take pity on us, help us!”
Jesus’ reply is fast as lightning: “IF? There are no ‘if’s’ among believers. Anything can happen!” The man cries out his response, just as I do, just as so many of us who war with uncertainty, doubt, questions, pain and fear, especially in the face of great loss and grief, in the face of miracles we cannot quite wrap our minds around: “I do believe! Help me overcome my unbelief!”