Mixed Messages


Good news and bad news seems to reign these days.

On the GOOD side: we are surviving tax season. It’s almost over.

I’m also getting some pretty funny…coincidences? Signs? (What would you call them???) lately…

I went to spin class the other day, thinking hard about Mark…missing him HARD.  The new spin instructor (not Jeff, who injured his knee) said, “I’ve added a couple of new songs to my repertoire!” This woman doesn’t do change, frankly. And yet she proceeded to play “Pink Cadillac” and “Cheeseburger in Paradise,” which gave me the weepy giggles.  The first is/became a reference to a car-game Mark and Sarah loved (called Skittles…and you won the Skittles game if you spied a pink Cadillac), and the second was all about Mark’s favorite food: a really great cheeseburger.


I also find coins ALL THE TIME.  At least 3 or 4 times a week. It’s more than a little odd. The other day, I was walking from the parking lot into the gym (yes, I go there often…remember, endorphins are GOOD) as Steve was headed out of the gym to his car; we were on different schedules that day.  I had just apologized to God for being a little too weird about the coins; I was starting to look for them vs. simply receiving them (there is a difference).  I looked up at the blue sky and said THANK YOU (because it can be enough, it is enough), and then as I walked through the lobby it was like something turned my head/said to me “look over THERE.”  And sitting in the change dish of a vending machine were 2 dimes. One for me, one for Steve.

And then there’s the paperclips. Paperclips everywhere. Even in our driveway. Steve is reading a book called “Alec’s Legacy” (by a dad, whose son died) and there is mention of paperclips in the book (!). I go with the most obvious explanation: paperclips attach. Call me crazy. I do not care.  Just telling it like it is.

On the not-so-great side:

  • I’ve screwed up my right knee.  I can walk but am uncomfortable – possibly a little tear to my meniscus?  And in Sanibel, I’m expecting to get around using only a bike.  And I was hoping to do a lot of walking…like miles and miles of walking. UGH.
  • I’m aware that I am not 100% comfortable leaving my MIL for 2 weeks. I’m more like .02% comfortable. Steve will be around for some of that time, but my anxiety is rising.

I spend some time just….thinking.  Maybe this isn’t supposed to happen? Maybe the trip to Sanibel is just not going to be?  Did I get it wrong?

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